Running on fumes

I ran just over 4 miles on Saturday. This was my longest run since the marathon. I only started back up with running 2 weeks ago, and during that time I was fighting a cold. I’m feeling down right now because I feel like I haven’t had a “good” run since restarting. It sucks because after I completed the marathon I felt on top of the world, like I was ready to run another one as soon as my knee healed. And now I’m down in the dumps again.

I have a 5k coming up on March 16, so I hope I can have some GOOD runs in the next 2 weeks before that. I’d hate to finish this 5k in the same amount of time as my very first 5k two years ago. At the rate I’m running right now, it might happen.

Last week I went to a local running club. I had done a “beginner running group” at a store and they encouraged us to come to their weekly group run. As soon as I got there, I wanted to run far away from there. People started showing up and it was all men, mostly late 20’s into 30’s; in other words peak running age. I was grateful that I knew the coach from before, and I think he sensed what was going on and he apologized. There ended up being two other women there, and they ran together at a 10 minute pace. At my 12 minute pace, I was DEAD LAST in the group. The women running the 10 min pace? They were second to last. That’s how legit these runners were. Lucky for me, I was the only person who ran the 3 mile loop so no one could see me. Everyone else opted for 5 or 7 miles and we all finished around the same time. I was spared the embarrassment of having everyone waiting at the finish for me.

Sidestory: A New Balance rep was there and let us try out the brand new Fresh Foam sneakers during the run. Yes, I got to put on a new pair of sneakers for the run and I had to give them back at the end. It was fun to getting to try new sneakers for a whole run.

Back to my night: For the first 10 minutes of the run I wanted to cry and die of embarassment. But then, once I got into my groove of running, I truly did forget my nervousness. I told myself over and over that this was just like any other weeknight run when I’m by myself, it’s just a different route. Then at the end, I surprised myself by feeling like I would come back to this group run. Despite being dead last, I think I still want to try it. To be honest, I’m surprised at myself for not giving up this time. However, another admission is that with the string of bad running days, I am a little bit considering giving up running.


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